Yep. That’s me. A year in the making. Well, really a lifetime in the making, but if you’ve noticed, you haven’t received a post from me in about a year. I created this blog in early 2013, got really gung ho about writing consistently and then… dropped it completely. The complete opposite of what I’d intended which was to bring writing back into my life and share it with you. I know – how can you follow a blog if the author is just going to ditch you in the middle of the relationship? Trust me, I understand. I am embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t even remember my password to log back into the admin page so I could revamp it. Well, here it is revived and alive again. A lot has happened to me in the last year and I hope you’ll read on to hear about it.
I knew without a doubt that I had to leave my job in academia. While I was really good at it and got a lot of confidence from having a solid reputation and producing top notch work, there was something stirring within me. These feelings had been brewing for some time and I got to a point where I just couldn’t ignore what I was experiencing. I realized that the institution’s values didn’t match mine. Sure they said they value X, Y, and Z, but I believe that actions and behaviors are what really count and from what I could tell - there was not a match. That’s when I realized that perhaps my own values had changed. Actually, I don’t think I paid much attention to what my values were when I was in my 20s and early 30s. In the last two years as I learned more about my own values, I noticed a discrepancy between what I hold most important in my life with those around me at work. Don’t get me wrong. Many of my colleagues remain close friends today. It was the collective unconscious of the institution that was getting under my skin. I won’t bore you with all the ups and downs I experienced in the last year, but they were all important and led me to make the decision of a lifetime – to leave my job in pursuit of real happiness and freedom. Thankfully, I knew what I was running into. I am so grateful to have been a part time practicing coach in the last few years and knew without a doubt this is what I was meant to do full time.
Fast forward to February 2014 – I am a free woman. No more living by someone else’s rules, policies or procedures. I’ve always known I am a self-directed person, but nothing tests this assumption more than being out on my own. Thankfully, my hypothesis was correct. I feel like I was meant for entreprenuership – I love networking, connecting with each person I’m with on a deeper level, learning the latest pscyhology and coaching practices – trying these practices out on myself and then applying them with clients, marketing, creating something brand new, and writing. I love writing and how cool is it that I get to do that here in service of helping other people. While all these aspects build my confidence and confirm that I am exactly where I’m meant to be, this journey is an emotional roller coaster. You might be thinking why would anyone put themself through that? I have asked myself that question several times over the last seven weeks and my answer is – this may be an emotional ride, but it’s MY ride. I am living my truth. I am in full control over what I do each and every day. Most importanty, my actions and behaviors 100% align with my values. I get to reinvent, ammend, reevaluate, make more changes, create, fail greatly, succeed greatly, live! I’m excited about the fact that when you are in business for yourself these are all good things. It means I am on the right track. Who wants stale, stagnet, and the status quo? There is a place for all of that, but it’s not in my work. When I work with clients it’s a gift because we both transform, we both discover, and we both grow one step at a time.
So now that I’m living my truth I get to share it with you. I promise not to abandon you this time. I am here for the long haul. I needed that time off from writing to process and go through the healthy stages of change. I had to build up the courage to take this huge, life risk and fully practice what I preach. I can help my clients continue to grow because I am commited to doing this myself every day, no matter how hard it may be at times. The ability of the human spirit to heal, replenish, and transform is truly a miracle. It is beautiful on the other side. Whatever that “it” is for you, don’t wait – do it.
Until next time,